A Long Way Down
by VTPM
Summary: One shot tributes to the villains of Zexal. (Warnings: Depression, self harming and suicide can be found in this story. You don't like it, don't read it. You've been warned)
1. Echo

Sometimes he thought back to how things were. Back to when people were _terrified_ of him; back when the Numbers were at stake; back when he was important. Back to when he wasn't so _weak_.

But those days were long gone now. Astral had the Numeron Code, while he had failed. It was sad to think about sometimes, that he had had one lousy job, one purpose and he couldn't even accomplish that. And in all truth, he'd never even really gotten close to succeeding either.

But none of that truly mattered anymore. That was all just history, perhaps even just some demented fantasy.

(That's how far away it seemed. He knew it had happened but it felt like so long ago that perhaps there was a chance he'd imagined it all in some nightmare)

He missed the fighting and Numbers War. Mainly because it was something to do. After all, he had nothing anymore. Just his numbness.

There used to be anger. Lots of it really. He remembered hating Astral and Yuma and that bastard Barian that stabbed him in the back first chance he got. Dark Mist _knew_ he shouldn't have trusted him, he always knew that Barian was just using him until he got what he wanted, but even despite knowing, he'd still fallen for the trap. He was such a _fool..._

Oh, but again, that's all just history. The anger has long since been gone. He wished he could tell how long, but in his seal, time is impossible to keep track of.

(He used to try, but he always lost count after a few hours)

He missed the anger too. He hated being so numb all the time. He didn't even feel the chains digging into his wrists anymore.

He used to try and escape sometimes, but his bonds never gave no matter how hard he thrashed. The shackles would just cut deeper and deeper until they finally hit bone and then he'd hang limply and try to catch his breath. He'd bleed too. He bled a lot when the chains ripped his flesh off, but he was usually too exhausted by then to care.  
Since he didn't really think of how much he hated everyone anymore, he usually had lots of time to think of other things. One subject he always came back to was the way he was sealed. It wasn't necessarily to try and find a way out, but more just boredom and curiosity.

(What little he could muster anyways. It was better than nothing, and those little things seemed to be what kept him from falling even further into insanity)

The reason it struck his curiosity was the chains themselves mainly. The seal was a complete void, nothing but utter blackness, yet somehow the chains were connected somewhere, holding him in place. He tried hard to see where they ended, but they were swallowed up in darkness and he could never find where they ceased.

He'd even tried calling out before to see if there were even walls. He never heard anything echo back which meant the room couldn't have any ends or walls.

Dark Mist had come across another subject he would stop to think about sometimes, though this one far more painful and less trivial then the last. Ever since he'd been corrupted all that time ago, he'd never felt any emotions other than anger and hate. But right before the numbness set in, he'd started feeling other emotions he'd never expected to experience, like loneliness, sadness, _fear_. The list went on.

(However, he did notice none of them were positive)

He did think that maybe he was still losing what little sanity he had left despite his trying not to.

(He wasn't sure why he bothered though)

No sane person would be so confused about this situation as he was. They'd know if they wanted to get out or not, but he didn't. He wanted to at first because he was still in denial and told himself it wasn't too late to get the Numeron Code. But now, he didn't know. He wanted to because he was tired of nothing ever happening, but at the same time, he was terrified of what might happen if he got out. What if things had changed a lot since he was last free? He wasn't sure why, but the thought of _change_ was the most frightening thing he could think of at the time.

(Maybe it scared him because he was supposed to be causing terror, not feeling it himself. And it just wasn't _right_. It was just so _wrong_ )  
Sometimes he'd wonder why Astral didn't simply kill him. Why bother locking him away when Astral could easily just wipe him from existence and not have to worry about him ever again?

(Torture. He was just torturing him. That's the only answer there could be. And perhaps, Astral enjoyed the thought of keeping him miserable?)

When Dark Mist found that the reason he had to suffer like this was because Astral was just getting a kick out of it, it managed to start a spark of hate burning inside him. It was enough to make him start thrashing against his binds again.

After 10 minutes of thrashing to no avail, he finally stopped and hung limply just like so many times before. He could feel the anger drain from him along with the wasted energy, leaving him feeling just so _empty_ again.

(And now that he thinks about it, he's so _sick_ of feeling like this. How can Astral _do_ this to him? He wanted so bad for it to end...)

So he decided it would. If he couldn't escape, he'd simply make it end, make the pain go away.

He let a tentacle grab onto one of the chains that was hanging, disconnected from everything, and pulled it closer to himself. He stopped and mentally asked himself if this was really what he wanted.

(He didn't _truly_ want to, but he had no other options...)

He carefully wrapped the chain around his neck.

(He'd do it fast. It didn't have to hurt...)

With the chain still wrapped around his throat, he jerked the metal links up as fast as he could.

(He could hear the crack of his windpipe collapsing and his spine snapping from the sudden force)

That awful crack echoed in his ears until everything faded into oblivion.

And that snap had been the only sound that he'd been able to hear the echo of.


	2. You Promised

Vector jumped in surprise as the alarm clock suddenly went off on his bedside table. He groggily reached over to shut it off and forced himself to get out of bed. He hated the school's early hours.

(But not nearly as much as the students themselves)

He stumbled half asleep down the stairs and into the kitchen where Dumon and Mizar were already awake. He slumped in his chair at the table and noticed the glare he was getting from Mizar.

(Not that it surprised him. He was used to it by now)

Breakfast went passed fast enough, mainly because he blanked out half way through. One moment he was eating, the next he was being dragged out the door by Alito. He used to walk Yuma to school, but he usually wanted to walk with Tori now, obviously due to the fact they were an item now. In fact, he barely saw much of Yuma anymore. He was always so caught up dueling and with his friends, he never got much of a chance to even talk to him.

(But that was okay. He didn't need Yuma. He could do just fine on his own)

First period drug by slowly. Numbingly slow. He never really bothered paying attention to class.

(He knew most of it anyways and if he didn't know it, well, his grades weren't really important)

This was how he spent every day at school, completely out of it and just waiting for the final bell.

(But what did it matter? It was all the same, no matter what he did or where he was)

Eventually Duel period rolled around and Vector walked off to the side, keeping out of everyone's way.

(He didn't bother dueling much anymore. Something about it just wasn't quite the same. It wasn't any _fun_ )

Not that anyone else cared. No one even noticed he wasn't there. Well, scratch that, Nasch noticed, but only because he was suspicious and didn't trust him in the least.

He usually just stayed back and watched other students duel, but today he felt oddly sick at watching the monsters. He turned and slipped away, deciding he'd take a walk around the school to clear his mind.

(And maybe that awful sick feeling would go away too)

He didn't get far before the voices came back. He rarely had any true 'alone time'. They were always there, bothering and pestering him. And he _hated_ it.

He sighed and tried to ignore them, but just like every time, they always jabbed at a sore wound and made him snap back.

(Even if they don't _truly_ exist, even if they're just a part of his own mind, he always told himself they weren't him. He didn't want such awful things that always hurt him so bad to be part of him)

 _Alone again~? Don't you seem just oh so lonely? Does it hurt? Does it hurt knowing no one cares about you? Does it hurt knowing you're just a worthless piece of shit everyone wishes was dead? Does it?_ They hissed softly in his ear.

"Sh-Shut up..." Vector growled back.

(He had to talk to them out loud. Because it helped him feel like they really were outside his body, like they really were someone else. And they felt so _real_ , so he talked to them like they were real, even if they were just imaginary)

 _Why should we? It does hurt, doesn't it? You know we're right..._

"No. You're wrong... It doesn't hurt..."

(Lies..)

 _You can't deny it forever... You'll have to do something eventually... You could do what you would have done before, before you became such a coward. You could just make them suffer like you have to, kill them even._

"I won't... I'm not like that now..."

 _But don't you miss it? No one ever dared hurt you then. You were strong, you weren't so soft and weak. Now you're nothing..._

"I told you, it doesn't hurt... And I don't miss being like that. I was an awful person then.."

(His voice cracked a little. Luckily no one was around to hear him)

(Or so he thought...)

"Hey kid. Why are you talking to yourself? Got no friends?" He heard someone sneer behind him.

Vector winced. He knew this kid. He also knew he was with a group of several others. Ever since he'd come back to Heartland Academy, they'd decided it would be just a _wonderful_ idea to bully him.

He felt a hand on his shoulder shove him around, facing him towards the kid and his back suddenly hit a wall. The kid's hand was at his throat, pinning him.

"Well, are you going to answer my question or not?" The kid hissed.

"Can't you just leave me alone? I don't want any trouble..." Vector asked, though he felt like he should be begging.

"Oh? You don't want trouble?" The kid said, smirking.

His hand tightened around Vector's throat, making it harder to breathe.

"No.." He croaked, barely able to make the words heard.

 _You could kill him if you wanted to..._

"But I don't want to..." Vector whispered to himself, hoping the kids wouldn't hear.

(But of course they did)

"Still talking to yourself? Let's see if you can now..."

The pressure on his throat suddenly increased. He couldn't breath at all.

"What's the matter? Does it hurt?"

Those words brought tears to Vector's eyes. _'That's just what the voices always asked_...'

"Please stop..." Vector tried to say, but no sound would come out.

The hand around his throat vanished and Vector fell to his knees, struggling to get air into his lungs.

The relief didn't last long though. Something suddenly struck his chest and he collapsed onto his side. Vector coughed as the impact forced some of the oxygen from his lungs again.

He heard the kid laughing, and the rest of his little gang probably was too, but Vector was so light headed from suffocating he couldn't really tell.

Pain gripped his chest again as another impact hit.

And another.

They kept coming until he started coughing out blood. Only when that happened did the kid stop. By then Vector was so out of it he hadn't even noticed the kids had left him to bleed there. He tried for a long, shaky breath but it hurt his chest so bad and made him cough again, which only hurt worse. He shakily made himself sit up and wipe the blood off of his face. He couldn't go back in the school covered in it like he was. People might ask questions.

(Not that they cared, but Nasch would think he'd gone and killed someone because he was just an ass like that and a part of Vector hated him for it)

When the bell rang, he forced himself to his feet and limped towards the school.

(Every breath he took hurt so bad. But he couldn't let the voices know that... He'd never hear the end of it)

Eventually the final class ended and Vector started home alone. He didn't bother waiting for the others.

(And no one even questioned the bruises, just like every other time)

As soon as he got home, he went straight to his room and locked himself inside.

(Just like every day before)

He dumped his bag on the ground and went to plug in his radio. As he did, the voices came back.

 _Hiding from the world again? Hiding from reality? You can't shove the truth away forever..._

"Leave me alone..."

 _Why~? Don't you hate being alone? You always feel so awful when you are~_

Vector quickly popped a CD into the stereo and turned the volume as loud as he could without blowing the speakers or going deaf.

(It was the only way to drown them out)

He had tried begging Nasch to let him get an MP3 player, but he had refused.

(But he needed it so he could escape them at school. But of course Nasch would deny him anything, even if it was to try and make things better)

He still felt that odd sickness in his stomach.

(He felt it often)

He rolled over on his bed to face his dresser and carefully opened the drawer. He reached inside with a shaky hand and pulled out a the pocket knife he kept there.

He pulled up his pant leg and used the knife to trace the thin scars that were already there from the days before.

Vector shuddered a bit and let the new cuts bleed out some before quickly wrapping them in gauze.

(He wasn't sure why he bothered hiding them. No one cared anyways.)

After a few minutes, he found himself staring numbly at the ceiling. Truth be told, he did want help, but he didn't know how to help himself.

(And no one else wanted to)

 _Maybe I should just end it all..._ He thought. _It'd be so much easier..._

Vector couldn't help but think of Yuma though. He'd went through all of that _trouble_ to try saving him and even brought him back to life for _another_ chance. He'd been willing to _die_ with him to make sure he wasn't alone. But now where was he, when Vector needed him most?

Internally, Vector didn't blame Yuma. He should have known better than to put his _trust_ into that kid. He should have seen this coming. After all, Yuma had a shorter attention span then a gnat and was far too wrapped up in his own things. Besides, he always ended up regretting it when he trusted someone other than himself.

(But Vector truly doesn't blame him. He'd been through so much from the war, he just wanted to have some time to not worry about the problems of the multiverse and be _normal_ )

Vector sighed. He'd try talking to Yuma one more time tomorrow, though he still probably wouldn't listen or even at least _try_ to.

* * *

The next day before school, Vector quietly went up to Yuma and pulled his sleeve a little to get his attention from his other _friends_ he was talking to.

(He hated that word. It was so weak and meaningless and _painful_.)

"Huh? Oh, hey Vector! What's up?" Yuma asked, completely oblivious to the pained smile on his _friend's_ face, the concealer on his forearms, and the loaded gun in his bag.

"N-Not much.. Just, could we talk about something...? In private..?"

Yuma blinked, but nodded. "Sure, if you want."

 _Still doesn't even know something's wrong... Why bother? He won't listen or take you seriously._

(Damned voices... They never stay away..)

Once they got out of ear-shot of the others, Vector sighed and tried to speak, but the school bell suddenly rang.

"Aw crap! We're going to be late!" Yuma gasped, grabbing Vector's arm and dragging him towards the school.

Vector winced and wanted to say in warning, 'Watch the scars', but he held his tongue.

(Yuma wouldn't understand what it's like anyways...)

 _See? Told you he wouldn't listen... He doesn't have the time of day for you! Just like your Mother didn't..._

Vector tried to push the voices away, no that it did much good. 'You're wrong... He just doesn't know it's important yet... He just doesn't want to be late... I can try again after school...'

* * *

And he did. As soon as the bell ended, before Yuma could even get caught up talking to anyone else, Vector yanked on his sleeve again, not as timidly as before.

Yuma didn't look as surprised to see him this time. "What is it?"

"The bell interrupted me... I-I still want to talk to you about something..."

'Did he really forget about me already...?'

 _He forgot because he doesn't care...!_

(It sounded like it was right in his ear and he twitched away slightly)

"Oh! Right! Well, uh, Kari did kinda want me home early..."

 _Doesn't care~ He doesn't care~ Just use the fucking gun already~ He's just going to hate you later anyways once he finds out how you got it~_

(Why did they have to sound so fucking ecstatic about his death...?)

"Too fucking bad..." Vector growled, grabbing Yuma's arm and dragging him a bit roughly back behind the school, though his anger was directed towards the damned voices.

Yuma wouldn't know that, but what did it matter?

"Vector! Kari's going to be mad if I'm late!" Yuma said.

 _Just let the poor kid go... You aren't going to get what you're looking for... You think you can tell him what you're planning and have him truly care and beg you not to? You won't get that... No one cares about worthless brats like you... Just fucking die already..._

Vector twitched again, then slammed Yuma against a wall by his throat, though not all of the anger was towards the voices now. "Listen up, you ignorant little brat... Remember that promise you made me? You know, about fucking protecting me and being there for me? I put my _faith_ into that, thinking 'hey! maybe some gives a shit for once!' And what do you do? You fucking ignore me and can't even bother yourself to get scolded by your sister for me?! What kind of fucking friend is that? You have plenty of time for everyone else, so what the actual hell?!" Vector let him go and backed up a bit, internally flinching when he saw the fear in Yuma's eyes.

(He'd seen that look far too many times)

 _But it felt good at the time... You're such a fucking disgrace... You know you want that again... You miss the fear and killing right?  
_

 _Oh, but what's it matter? You're just going to die, right? You know you deserve this! You know no one will miss you!_

(The voice sounded far too giddy about it. It was sickening..)

"V-Vector, I d-didn't..."

"You didn't know..?" Vector interrupted.

"N-No, I.."

 _He didn't bother paying attention! He would have payed attention without you begging him if he cared! He would have! No matter what, he's just going to pretend for you out of pity no matter what you do!_

Vector backed away from him some and smiled. "Th-That's okay Yuma-kun... You d-don't have to bother yourself with me anymore..."

 _That's right~ You know just what to do~ About time you did something right..._

Yuma stiffened a bit. "Wh-What are you d-doing with that g-gun...?"

"I-I told you... It's okay... Y-You don't have t-to worry anymore..." Vector replied, putting the barrel of the gun to his temple.

 _YOU'RE FINALLY DOING IT~!_

(It sounded like nails on chalkboard in his head)

"V-Vector..! Don't do it..!" Yuma said, looking even more scared now.

'Oh... He's actually scared for me...? I-Isn't it too late...?'

"Please, Vector.. P-Put it down..! You don't have to do this..! I-I'm sorry I was ignoring you.. I didn't mean to..! I swear! I-I just didn't know you felt l-like this... Please, please don't do it.. I swear I'll be there for you more..."

'H-He wants me t-to stop... H-He said h-he's sorry... He w-wants to try... He gave m-me a second chance... I-I should give h-him one t-too, right...?'

 _DON'T YOU DARE! PULL THE FUCKING TRIGGER!_

'B-But maybe i-it'll get b-better now...'

 _HE'S LYING! DIE ALREADY!_

'N-No... Y-You're wrong... I-It'll be okay th-this time...'

Tears were streaming down his face at his point and he couldn't hear what Yuma was saying anymore.

(He wasn't aware of what the boy was saying, nor was Yuma aware of the struggle going on in his head)

Vector wanted to put the gun down, but he felt oddly frozen and absent from reality, including his own body. His entire body was shaking badly, including his arm and hands.

 _PULL THE DAMNED TRIGGER!_

Vector didn't really know what happened next, but his hand must have twitched just the slightest and he was on the ground and someone screamed.

'Must have been Yuma...' He thought.

(He doubted he could scream even if he wanted to)

He thought he could see Yuma start to move towards him, but his vision receded before he could be sure.

'At least it didn't hurt... Happened too fast to hurt... Happened too fast for me to even realize I'm dead yet... Still thinking... With a fucking hole in my skull...'

And somewhere in the back of his head he heard giggling and that sickening, happy voice,

 _You're finally dead~ I just think it's so funny~ He promised he'd protect you, but he couldn't even save you from yourself!_


End file.
